Girls, vegetable scales, and toilet paper

First of all, I'm ashamed that it's taken me so long to write a follow-up post to my previous one. The main reason I didn't is because I posted the results of the ultrasound on facebook, so most everyone found out that way. I am EXTREMELY happy to announce that we are going to have a girl! I feel so "lucky" to be given a daughter, and I am so happy that everything on the 20-week ultrasound looks healthy and great. I truly am grateful to God for all the blessings He's given me.

The other reason I haven't posted about this is because the thought of scanning in pictures made me feel overwhelmed for some reason. But it was totally painless; I did it!

Here are some pictures of the little peanut. The first one is her footprints.

And this is her little face. If you can't tell, the chest cavity is on the left. The forehead, nose, and lips are on the right. She's kind of squished in there.

And now, some other great news. You know the fruit and veggie scales at the grocery store? Well, I found out I've been reading them wrong all these years! Yep, that's right, I've been reading the kilogram side! (what was I supposed to think; it's in red, and red attracts more attention!) No wonder all those "medium butternut squash, about 2 lbs" that I was getting for recipes always seemed underweight. And all those grapes I didn't buy because they were $1.99 a pound but weighed what I thought was 4 lbs?! Never again!

How embarrassing.

And the other interesting bit of the week is that I'm going to try more expensive toilet paper. I've always bought the cheap, lousy, thin, scratchy stuff that aggravates my hemorrhoids and that I have to use twice as much of because it's not absorbent. But, last time at Target, I forced myself to buy the pack of Angel Soft (or whatever it's called) that costs $12 instead of $8, and I can hardly wait to use it. I'll let you know about the results.

Daughters

I want a daughter very, very, very, very much. Most of you know this. But some people have been ridiculously disparaging, rude, and insensitive about my desire. Here's what various people have said about it:

"At least you won't have to pay for a girl's wedding."

"Be glad if you don't have a girl. Girls are just drama."

"As long as it's healthy, it doesn't matter what it is."

"Be careful what you wish for. My daughter was ...."

"Be grateful for what you have."

"At least you won't have to go out at buy girl stuff."

Why would people say such discouraging things about girls? And why do people tell me what I should and should not want?

I WANT to pay for a girl's wedding and be involved in helping her plan one. I WANT to go by pink and purple onesies. Yes, girls are more drama in general, but so worth it. Yes, I will be extremely grateful if my child is healthy, but does that mean I can't pine for a certain gender?

I love my two boys BEYOND MEASURE, and I'm so grateful that God has given them to me. I'm so glad that I had two boys together, close in age. I think they'll grow up close, they can share a room, they'll be less lonely with each other, etc.

But now that I'm going to have another child, I would really like to have a girl. I would really like to experience that mother-daughter relationship. Most moms I know treasure their girls and have a bond with them that is very different from the bonds with their sons. I want to experience that. I would love to pick out a girl name, and buy girl clothes, and (hopefully) still be close to her when she grows up and marries and has children. Boys generally leave their parents more than girls do.

My desire: Is it immoral or unethical to desire a daughter? Absolutely not. In the Bible, children are described as blessings to be grateful for (Matt 19:4, Mark 10:14, Mark 10:16, Psalm 127:5), and nowhere does it say or insinuate that one sex is more valuable than the other. Is it okay to be obsessed about it? No. Do I need to thank God for my blessings whether it's a boy or a girl? Absolutely. And I will ... eventually.

If I have another son, I will probably go through a grieving period because I will feel disappointed and sad not to have a daughter. I don't think that will be a bad thing. My feelings of disappointment will be valid, and I should be allowed to have them and process them so that I can get to a point where I am happy to have another little boy in my house. Even King Solomon knew that disappointments and desires are real: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Prov 13:12). So, yes, if I find out it's another boy, my heart will feel sick for a short time. Please allow me these emotions and don't tell me how to feel.

I'm going on Sunday to an ultrasound school for one that costs $25. I'll post the results when I can.

Sick heart or tree of life?